Day 307…
Counting down the days until armed white supremacist militias launch attacks against the Capitols in every state is not how I envisioned spending this first couple of weeks of January.
My still-sleepy mind was wandering through much different underbrush this morning.
I was unloading the dishwasher earlier and thinking about how much use that machine has been getting this year. When we bought it, we were as concerned about how it would look in our renovated kitchen as we were with how it would actually work. Given the relentlessness with which we use it these days, I’m relieved that we picked one that is actually functional too. I’m truly grateful that it hasn’t fallen apart.
As I was putting the dishes away, I suddenly remembered the white supremacists.
Oh… yeah.
There’s an online chatroom called the Rant that many officers from the New York Police Department participate in. Lots of racist and bigoted comments get aired on it.
One of the more virulent and anonymous posters used the pseudonym “Clouseau” after the bumbling Peter Sellars detective character in the Pink Panther movies. This Clouseau called President Obama a “Muslim savage” in one post. He referred to the biracial son of the Mayor of New York as “Brillohead”.
Noticing these remarks among many others, an investigator from the New York City Council’s Oversight and Investigations Division started doing some digging to find out who Clouseau was.
The officer who was posting these hate-filled racist rants against Black people, Hispanic people and Jewish people turned out to be Deputy Inspector James F. Kobel.
Kobel’s job with the NYPD has been overseeing the department’s Equal Employment Opportunity Division.
I’ll let that sink in.
Yesterday, we drove a Zipcar downtown and picked up a desk that friends of ours were getting rid of. It’s a simple white upside down “U” on wheels. It fits over the top of a trunk that my Grandmother used when she went to College in the 1920’s that we keep under a window in the bedroom.
Given all of the work that Michael is doing in his office - otherwise known as the bedroom - he needed a flat surface. Using the rocking chair and a corner of the bed was less than ideal. This new thing pushes over the trunk when he doesn’t need it and pulls out when he does. He spent the afternoon working at it. It seems to be perfect.
The divide between the utter mundane and repetitive nature of our daily lives and the truly astonishing political events unfolding all around us gets more and more surreal with each passing day. The difference between what’s happening on the news and what’s happening in our daily lives seems enormous.
How can a deplorably racist law enforcement officer end up as the head of the very department designed to combat racism on the force? The leader of the Captains Endowment Association, the union that represents Kobel, instead of taking any action against him, has leapt to his defense.
With each passing day, the events of January 6 in Washington sink further in.
The President, on a trip down to look at his border wall this morning, defended the speech he made that sparked the riot, as being entirely appropriate. He refuses to take a shred of responsibility for it.
The First Lady, who was overseeing a photo shoot of the rugs inside the White House at the time, issued a statement calling for unity. Sort of. She expresses sympathy for all who died, but leads off with the insurgents, and says that she found their passion “inspiring”.
Reportedly, she was able to finish the photo shoot while the insurrection raged.
How do we fight racism in our country when every level of the system in place that forms the structure of that same country, is infected with it?
“Defund the Police” is truly the worst rallying cry that the left could have ever chosen to deploy to look at what is actually happening in police departments, but what it actually calls for is very much needed.
For every Capitol Police officer who put themselves in harm’s way to protect our legislators, there was another one actually letting the terrorists in and posing for selfies with them. Then up here, one of the arguably most racist officers in the NYPD wound up in charge of the very office designed to combat that racism.
Above them, on a national level, a sizable portion of the Republican section of the government are still supporting the President, still trying to overthrow a fair and honest election and still refusing to acknowledge the severity of the attempted insurrection.
Our government and our law enforcement departments are dangerously compromised. How much so, is the question of the day. Can law enforcement be trusted to keep our government officials safe over the next few weeks?
And, of course, we are in the middle of a global pandemic.
This same government has completely botched the response to the entire thing. From the first days where it might have been contained, right up until the present day where the vaccine that could end it is being ineptly distributed, they have done nothing right.
These are all huge interconnected events that would be devastating on their own, but together are almost unimaginable. I say almost because they aren’t actually unimaginable, they are actually happening.
How, in light of these earthshaking issues, can we just go on living our lives, worrying about things that don’t really matter? Because, that’s what life is.
I am watching the House Rules Committee discuss a 25th Amendment resolution. They are discussing, seriously, whether or not the President of the United States is fit to hold office. Both sides of the debate are being argued passionately and thoughtfully. It seems as if a majority of the House feels that the President is, indeed, unfit. Legislators are actually trying to figure out how to remove the President from office.
It’s all so monumental and unthinkable and yet in a few minutes, Michael’s going to make breakfast and I’m going to turn off the TV. He is going to use the new ceramic-lined fry pan that we got at Bed, Bath and Beyond the other day. Afterwards, I’ll clean it. It can’t go into the dishwasher, so I’ll clean it by hand.
At some point today, I will try to install a new hinge on one of our kitchen cabinets. It took days to find the stupid thing. Of course, the original hinge that broke had been discontinued so, after much research and a trip to the east side to get a comparable replacement, I finally have one that MAY work.
How can I worry about a hinge when we may be attacked by white supremacists at any moment?
Because it will always be something. I’m not saying not to be worried and not to care. Far from it. The goal of terrorists is to disrupt life. We cannot let that happen.
What we are looking at these days, few of us white folks have ever had to really deal with before. Not being of color myself, I can’t begin to know what living in this country feels like for those who are. Having large parts of the country willing to commit violence against you for no other reason than you exist?
Well, now there is a large part of the country who want to attack the liberal left for no other reason than we exist. People of color have lived with that fear and that stress for centuries.
The difference is, because white people are now on the receiving end of some of this, the government is debating what to do about it.
That, right there, is some white privilege. Attention is being paid.
Imagine all this happening and nobody really doing anything about it. I’m guessing half the population can do that very easily.
So, I am going to turn off the TV and enjoy my breakfast. What will come, will come and we will deal with it in some way. It may be fine, and it may be awful, but it’s not going to stop me from enjoying my meal.
There’s a scene in Monty Python and the Holy Grail where men in flashing armor on horseback come upon a group of peasants dealing with the fallout from the plague. As they ride off, the unconcerned peasants chat about them disinterestedly.
Mortician: Who was that then?
Customer: I don’t know.
Mortician: Must be a king.
Customer: Why?
Mortician: He hasn’t got s&*t all over him.
We elect people to represent us so that we don’t have to do it ourselves. What’s happening now is that the Administration that we elected is no longer acting in our best interests. Whether or not they ever were, is another story.
We have, therefore, elected someone else to replace our current leader. We don’t have much choice other than to pray that the others we have elected will ensure that that transfer of power happens.
While the activity of government happens not far from us, it might as well be on another planet. We can only watch it from afar through the small windows of our TVs.
We may be called upon to act, or this may pass. We’ll have to wait and see.
What we can do while we wait for these events to unfold is to just go on with the tasks at hand. Fear about what might come to be cannot keep us from living our lives in the moment.
We have to bury our dead and change our hinges.
And just like yesterday and tomorrow, eat our breakfasts.
❤️Thank God I can take a walk today Grateful “it” isn’t happening outside my front door/ counting my blessings xo you are one
Has the news about this Kobel guy gotten press? I haven’t heard about him on NPR or in the NYT. Mind blowing